from the LP Suicidal Tendencies, Frontier Records, 1983Got together with a close friend from my adolescence yesterday, and the trip down memory lane has left my head spinning a bit; although we hadn’t seen each other in over a decade, it felt just like old times---well, apart from the beautiful & intelligent daughter she brought along with her, that was new. Me & S had actually dated for a brief time way back in high school, and she was one of the people who had written to me during my time in hell (see: abusive evangelical boot camp outside the country), which still means a lot to me actually. All out-going & in-coming mail was read, much like jail, only they had even stricter rules down there regarding what would be allowed through: for example, if you got a letter from someone not on the “ok” list, or a note that mentioned rock music or a TV program or something which could potentially take one’s mind away from their attempts at brainwashing, you weren’t allowed to have it. However, they kept those letters, and when you are finally freed they hand them all back to you---I can’t put into words swell of emotions I felt upon looking at that bundle of envelopes, after 27 long months of torture, knowing that my friends not only remembered who I was, but they wondered where I had gone & they had missed me. In all honesty, it was the strength I needed to handle fallout from the PTSD, something which I still struggle with to this day, albeit to a much lesser extent now. S gave me lots of updates on some of our other friends or yore, and similar to my experience in Florida around Xmas, it’s left me with a renewed intention to seek out some more people from my past---not merely due to some voyeuristic desire to see what they’re doing, but to thank them most heartily for supporting me at a time in my life when I needed it the most. This track, from one of the loudest punk-metal bands ever: Suicidal Tendencies, hits home with any of us (by now, surely a sizeable number) who were locked away as kids because we were different, or rebelled against our parent’s wishes; if someone reading this has recently gone through a similar type of experience, take heed my brother or sister, I know how you feel, and I can promise you this: things do get better!
