from the LP Chelsea Girl, MGM Records, 1967In my estimation, Nico (né Christa Päffgen) remains one of the most complex and misunderstood enigmas in the pantheon of modern music; everyone who knew her, even if they only crossed paths for a mere sliver of time, has chimed in with their own subjective theories about what drove her, what made her tick, why she was so unusual. Most observers and “friends” fall prey to oversimplifications and reedy, black-or-white judgments which do little in helping to paint a thorough picture of the artist as a whole person and individual. There are certain manifest facts: she had a child in 1962, Ari, whose father (famous, award-winning French actor Alain Delon) never publicly acknowledged his paternity---even though his friggin’ parents mostly raised the kid; she had several famous lovers (Dylan, Lou Reed, Brian Jones, Jim Morrison, Iggy Pop), none of whom she stayed with for any real period of time; she shot dope for over 15 years, but got cleaned up and was living much healthier the year before her death. People like to carry on about how “cold” she was, how no one was able to really reach her, and that she was so distant from humanity; yet, when you consider the lavish life she led and the amount of men she bedded, those labels just don’t hold up entirely. Many of the pictures taken of her over the years, both official and bootleg, show her in high spirits, cavorting with acquaintances, and decidedly not sitting around pouting; although her looks deteriorated considerably through the decades, which many point to as “proof” that she hated her good looks and had set out to become ugly, I’d like for anyone to find me somebody who shoots smack for a long period of time and retains their youthful appearance! I’m not debating that she may very well have grown to despise the treatment she received in life as a bombshell, and that she may have been proud, to some degree, of all the track marks and wear & tear---but to presume the whole evolution was a pre-planned transition is just thinking too hard. Life happens, you adjust your game as it goes, and if there’s one thing that is clear from virtually all accounts, it’s that Nico was indeed quite the game-player and manipulator. She knew what she wanted in life and she set out to get it, loving to fuck with others’ expectations and coming through successfully more often than not, leaving a trail of scorned lovers and scorched bridges in her wake. This song, written by another one of her notable lovers (Jackson Browne), seems a rather apt portrayal of the closed-off chanteuse everyone paints her as, “…I've been out walking, I don't do too much talking these days…I had a lover, I don't think I'll risk another these days…these days I seem to think about how all the changes came about my way, and I wonder if I'll see another highway…” Again, when compared to her actual life, it doesn’t jive entirely; the truth, as usually is the case with anyone, is far more complicated than the boxes people have painted her into. If any line jumps out at me, not to try and pin on Nico, but as an existential truth that really packs a wallop, it’s this: “…and if I seem to be afraid to live the life that I have made in song, it's just that I've been losing, so long…”
